The Gamemakers enter the Games

I watched in disappointment as my favorite tribute, Jasmine Benton, died in the arms of her best friend Juniper Stowe. I noted that Jasmine handed Juniper a golden rose pin before she died, probably her tribute token for Juniper to remember her. I zoomed the camera in on this, hoping that the audience would find this as touching as I did. This was my first time being a Gamemaker, and it was much harder than I expected. I had decided earlier to release a breed of venomous beetles into the arena, but my favorite tribute was bitten by one and died shortly after. Slowly I began to drift off into a temporary daze, but quickly snapped back to reality when a thought popped into my brain. I could make a tsunami to mix the games up. This would be perfect, my favorite remaining tribute Juniper Stowe was in a tree so it would not hurt her but it would hurt most of the others since they were on the ground.

I hit a number of buttons on the computer that controlled the effects of water and zoomed in a camera on the giant wave of water that I just created. Immediately I noticed tributes on the beaches start to panic and begin scrambling up the loose sand into the thick forest. I was amused to see those silly tributes try to escape my tsunami, really it was a lost cause. I started to type furiously on the buttons in front of me and sent a large predator over to the beach and almost instantly a leopard ran onto the beach and started chasing tributes down to the stormy water. One tribute started to escape and had veered off to the side, it was Annabeth Chase. I decided that I was going to kill her off, to make an example of what happens when you don’t obey the fate set out for you. I decided to send a strike of lightning down on the white sand before her feet, but instead I struck her body. It was a near fatal blow, her flesh was burned and the putrid smell of it was rising up in the tropical forest scene. Her skin turned black and began to bleed; the once white sand surrounding the poor girl was now red and black. Annabeth fell over and was squirming and screaming on the ground, furiously trying to use her crispy arms to claw her way up the sand to safety but it was too late. The wave mercilessly crashed down on top of her, her small bones crushed on contact and her flails ceased with the water. The water rushed over her and the other tormented tributes on the beach. I laughed maniacally at the scene that unfolded before my eyes, and sounded the cannon three times. This was going to be an extra bloody Hunger Games.

Read 3 comments

  1. I loved the description you used in this writing piece! You really made the story easy to visualize. Going along with that, the only improvement you could make would be to try using less words to get your point across. An example would be the sentence “I had decided earlier to release a breed of venomous beetles into the arena, but my favorite tribute was bitten by one and died shortly after.” You could replace this by saying “I decided to release venomous beetles, resulting in my favorite tribute being bitten, which caused her death.” Other then that minor issue, I really loved this piece! I can’t wait to read more.

  2. This was amazing! My favorite sentence would have to be, “Immediately I noticed tributes on the beaches start to panic and begin scrambling up the loose sand into the thick forest.” because it compared the loose sand to the thick forest. I can not wait to read more! The only thing I would correct you on would be that you still were announcing what you were doing. This was great otherwise!

  3. This was a very good piece of writing. The details, descriptions and vivid vocabulary kept me engaged throughout. One thing that I wondered while I was reading was why you had decided to do the things that you did. Why did you decide to release the beetles, or create a tsunami? I would’ve liked a deeper look into your thoughts. Also, your attention getter could’ve been better. Maybe by making the introductory sentence a simile or metaphor it would’ve pulled me in deeper. Overall this was a beautiful piece. Work it Jasmine!!

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