I sat alone at my table during lunch. It was the third day of training, the day we have private meetings with the Gamemakers. One by one people left the lunchroom, and eventually leaving only me. I was quietly sitting in the empty void inside myself, with the fear gushing out through a wound that kept bleeding. Eventually I was called and I started slowly advancing towards the door to meet with them. I was guided by a nice lady who led me through a metal door and shut my hope for escape with a bang. I breathed in and said to myself as I walked casually over towards the weapons, I can do this, I can do this. I picked up a sickle and got ready to display what I could do.
The game makers looked at me and scoffed, they thought of me as weak and useless. I smirked to myself and got into a leaping position, I knew I wasn’t weak and was able to do the unthinkable. I sliced through the mannequins delicate heads, stabbed them repeatedly and sent sharp stabs through their chests. I had dreamed about killing my enemies ever since I was little, so taking out the mannequins felt so right, like using nightshade to slowly poison somebody. The Gamemakers stared at me with amazement, and I put my sickle down. Quietly I said,
“I also have a way with plants.”
“Go on,” The head Gamemaker said with peaked interest.
A small table with many plants was brought before me and a deer was dragged in as a test subject. I took an assortment of foul smelling, bitter plants, crushed them into a paste and flung them onto the deer. The deer started twitching and writhing in agony, trying eagerly to rub the affected area with its antlers. The deer collapsed and started to froth at the mouth. Within minutes it was dead, and the Gamemakers were amazed as I walked out, they were very impressed. I felt like a new, powerful person, and a deadly adversary. I could kill anyone I wanted with ease. I got my confidence back, now I feel as if I didn’t waste my life on useless plants. I have a shot at living.
Overall, a good (while mildly disturbing in a good way) piece, which truly showed how exactly your fictitious identity would carry themselves and act in a life or death situation. The only thing I would change is while you are stabbing the mannequins, you repeatedly used the word stabbed, so maybe try improving your word choice a bit. Impaled? Shredded? Point is, find other and better, “vivid verbs.”
This was extremely intense. By far this was the best post I read. You conveyed emotion and sensory details perfectly. The grammar and punctuation was on point. The only problem I found with it was that you did not give your district number. You also made a reference to nightlock, people who read the book would understand this reference yet there are some who have not read the books. 9.5/10
It was good but in the second paragraph when you were talking about how you have wanted to kill the other tributes since you were young, you could have added more details about the rush that you get when you kill someone or something.